Pastor Appreciation Month

This isn’t something I talk about often, because it isn’t something I want to be perceived as a brag in any way. But I’ve been volunteering at my church for almost a year now. If you’ve read my previous blog post, you know how much we absolutely love our church. It’s been a huge honor to be able to help out in my church office, and the story of how God has worked in my life over the last 9 months is something to share in another blog post.

For today, I want to talk about my pastors. October is Pastor Appreciation Month, something that might have slipped by without me realizing it if I hadn’t been scheduled to have surgery in October. Several weeks ago, I was pretty despondent over the idea of being confined to my house (and probably the couch) for 8 whole weeks while my ankle healed from being fused. I felt like I’d be useless because I wouldn’t be doing all the work I normally do. God is good though, because He clearly spoke to me and reminded me that I can pray. In fact, I’d have a huge amount of time to pray. I started to consider everything that I could be praying for each day, and I actually felt excited about this opportunity. There is always a long list of important people and things to pray for.

Then God put it on my heart to specifically pray for our pastors. When you consider all that they are able to do with such a servant’s heart, there is only one explanation as to how they keep doing it: their relationship with God. God appointed them and God fills them with strength and wisdom. But we still need to pray for them, daily. I started to read up on ways to pray for our pastors, and saw that October was Pastor Appreciation Month. Coincidence? I think not! 🙂

If you had asked me a year ago if the pastors at Grace work hard, I’d have emphatically said “yes!”. But after volunteering in the office, I’ve gotten to see so many more ways that these men serve God, their families, our church, and our community. Most of us see the bigger things that our pastors do: the sermons that they’ve obviously spent a great deal of time preparing for, the worship songs that they’ve rehearsed for hours, the missions trips they go on, the small groups they organize and shepherd.

I appreciate all of the big things that they do. I think they deserve a full month of appreciation from all of us who reap the huge benefits from these guys giving their all to their jobs. What I’ve seen more and more of over the last year is that a pastor works 24/7, his job never ends, and its the little things that they do that really aren’t so little at all.

I’ve seen our pastor at church at 7pm on a Thursday night, folding bulletins after a long day of work. With a smile on his face. Who deserved to go home and relax with his family, but instead overheard that the impact group taking place in the room nearby had forgotten to bring a snack and everyone was hungry. So he goes to the store across the street, buys a bag of snacks, and silently brings them to the group of people he truly loves.

Our pastor goes grocery shopping on a Saturday morning, after a long week of work and hardly seeing his wife and kids. A church member runs into him in the produce section and begins pouring her heart out to him. He patiently listens and gives advice, even if it means that extra time away from his family. But he turned that person’s entire day around. She was seen and heard and able to go on and bless others in her path because of her pastor.

Our pastor spends his mornings working hard and will finally take a break for lunch. And just as he’s about to sit down and eat before his next meeting, someone will want to talk to them about their troubles. And he smiles and listens and prays with them. He’ll eventually eat that now-cold lunch before dashing off to the next responsibility, but you’ll never hear him complain about it.

Our pastor will travel to dangerous countries to preach the Gospel and share the love of Jesus with people who are suffering. He’ll catch a red-eye flight back home, and though he’s jet-lagged, you’d never know it because he often shows up at church the very next day with a smile on his face. And we never hear about the jet lag because his account of his trips are nothing but giving God glory.

Our pastor has a serious illness. He endures unspeakable pain, and medical treatments that give him a whole host of unpleasant side effects. But you’d never know it because yes, you guessed it, he is always there with a smile on his face. Always caring, always there to help.

This is not to say that they never show their own struggles, but on the whole, on a consistent basis, I have seen far more patience and selflessness from these guys than anything.

These are just a few examples of the many things I’ve noticed over the last few months. Our church is extraordinarily blessed to have 6 pastors who are so gifted at teaching and discipleship, but also have a huge heart for loving people in their very real, every day moments. Who really see you. See your needs and do anything they can to help.

Our pastors living out their Christian faith every day and authentically loving people has made a huge impact on my own life. When you feel safe enough to fall apart in your pastor’s office and share the worst pain you’ve ever experienced, and receive only love, prayer, true biblical counsel, and guidance…that is an indescribable blessing. God has used my pastor to save my life in many ways. How can you thank someone adequately for that?

My pastors are fathers and brothers to me. Uncles to my children. They’ve baptized my son. They’re our family and we love them so much!

Pastor Ryan baptizing our son Connor

Our daughter Felicity with her “uncle” Pastor Nate

Last year’s photo of our awesome church staff. Love them!

I share all of this to encourage you to think about all the ways your pastor has blessed your life. These are men who have spouses, children, responsibilities, and stresses just like the rest of us. And they give of themselves constantly. Their families graciously share them with us. Think of what you can do to personally thank these amazing men of God.

After talking with many people about the things that make them feel loved and appreciated, I have a list of some ideas for you:

1. PRAY! And let them know you are praying for them. Pray for protection over their marriages and families, for wisdom and discernment, for rest, for healing, for their relationships with God. Pray for a hedge of protection around them. Here is a 30 day Praying for Your Pastor challenge that can lead you in your prayers each day.

2. Write them a note of thanks. Tell them how they’ve blessed you specifically. Share something to encourage them. If you’re not a writer, that’s okay. Buy a card that simply says thank you for all you do. I know of pastors that keep all their notes of encouragement and save them in a box to read later when they’re struggling. Your note might one day help your pastor 10 years from now. Your words are a huge gift!

3. Give them the gift of alone time. Most people will use their free time to spend with their spouse and/or children, which is a wonderful thing. Giving someone a gift that encourages them to go have fun and enjoy something just for them is a way to help fill their cup. One of our pastors loves to golf. I don’t know anything about golf, but I’m willing to bet he’d love the gift of a round of golf to just unwind and have an hour just for himself.

4. Along those same lines, a gift that would allow them to spend some extra time with their wives and children is a huge blessing for the whole family. This is a way to also thank our pastor’s wives and kids for sharing their wonderful guys with us. This doesn’t have to be an elaborate or expensive gesture. Someone recently gifted my husband with a $10 gift card so he could take me out for ice cream…a fun treat that we would rarely think to do for ourselves!

5. Acts of service. Offer to mow their lawn (or send your teenage son to do it). Everyone appreciates a clean house but aren’t always comfortable with friends coming over to clean their toilets, so a gift certificate for a cleaning service is awesome.

6. Meals. I love to cook and I often tell people that the breads and pastries I bake them are like a big hug, in food form. 🙂 When I make dinner for one of my pastors, its with the intent of trying to help them capture some extra time with their families. Instead of shopping, cooking, and cleaning up, they can just relax and enjoy an extra hour to play catch with their kids, sit and watch a movie with their wives, or even go take a nap. Whatever they want to do, they deserve it. I’ve found that its fun and worth the time to ask around and find out what their favorite meal/dessert is. Have a restaurant deliver dinner if you don’t like to cook. Even a pizza delivery is a huge blessing when you are coming home after a long busy day.

7. Babysitting service.

8. Offer to volunteer your time to help the church. Many people have told me that they have wanted to find ways to get more involved, but just haven’t had the time to figure out the details. Use this month to take the initiative to do just that. There are always a lot of areas in the church that would be so thankful for your help.

9. Encourage their families. I sometimes daydream about having the financial ability to take all the pastors wives on a spa day to really spoil them. They sure do deserve it! But taking them out for coffee, giving them a note of thanks, a hug, taking the time to see how they’re doing and letting them know they’re appreciated is such a gift.

10. Give public thanks. I got this idea from an article I read and though it was suggested to take out a full-page ad in a local paper, it actually reminded me that we have a Facebook page with over 900 “likes”, over 1500 “check ins”, and 103 ratings (4.8 stars!). That’s awesome, but only about 6 reviews have been written up in 2017. How cool would it be if more of us publicly recorded just how much we love our church?

These are just a few of my ideas; I’m sure y’all can come up with a thousand creative ideas yourselves and I am praying that God will clearly show you a special way you can say thanks. Our impact group is going to be putting together something special as group, and I would encourage you to do the same with your impact group, or a group of friends. Its fun to get different ideas from different people, and each person can contribute in a small way to bless a pastor in a big way!

If you made it through this very long post, thank you! I hope and pray that its given you a lot to think about, and that it reminded you of how blessed you are by your pastors. If you are so inclined, I would love to hear your stories too! Feel free to leave a comment and share how your pastors have impacted your life.

“And I will give you shepherds after my own heart, who will feed you with knowledge and understanding.” Jeremiah 3:15

Darren, Nacho, Ryan, Aaron, Nate, and Russell-thank you for being our shepherds!

Pastor Russell leading the family retreat

Pastors Ryan, Darren, Nacho, and Aaron at Pastor Nate’s ordination

Pastor Nacho on the mission field!

Pastor Darren and his wife Kathi who works so hard serving the women at our church!

How To Change Your Life With Pasta…and Impact Groups

Last year, I shared this wonderful article on Facebook: Friday Night Meatballs: How to Change Your Life With Pasta. I thought it was a neat idea, and it was very well received, with many of my friends commenting “What an awesome idea! We need to do this!”. I also received quite a few private messages from people lamenting how much they wanted to do this, but just didn’t have the community around them to begin. A simple share on Facebook got me thinking really deeply on this whole concept. How much we all long for close, intimate community. Even the self-professed introverts that love curling up alone with a good book on Friday nights perk up at this idea.

Years ago, I started to pray fervently for God to lead us to a community of believers that would become our family. I love my immediate family and absolutely enjoy spending time with them and my extended family too, but they all live in another state so those times are few and far between. It’s tough living in loneliness. We spent years attending churches, trying to get involved in activities and making friends. I told myself “this takes time. It takes years to develop close friendships”. I thought my patience would pay off, but my husband’s military job would inevitably move us around and we’d start all over again in a new place, with a new church.

About 3 1/2 years ago, God brought us to San Antonio and the first church we visited we fell in love with. Our twins were only about 2 months old at the time, and just attending Sunday services was a major accomplishment for me. But I loved hearing about how important Impact Groups were to our church. They weren’t just about spending 8 weeks in a nice bible study, then moving on. Spiritual growth is important of course, but a huge part of it was building a community. Making the close friends we all long for, the people who are there for you in good times and bad. You know, those ladies that will bring you over a pot of soup when your kids are sick and your husband is on a business trip. Real friends.

I finally started going to impact groups, and like a kid attending a new school for the first time, there was some nervousness involved. But I went, and it was awesome. Each semester I signed up for another group, then another. I made some amazing friends; I started to really feel like this church was a family. We started to include each other in things like Thanksgiving dinners, and birthday parties. Each time we had an “outside the impact group” get together, we would marvel at what a good time it was. How we should do this more often; the kids love it. Let’s do dinner soon! Then the weeks would pass, and we wouldn’t plan anything. 🙂 Life is busy, that’s just how it goes.

Then, this article sparked something in me. I felt like the Lord was speaking loudly and clearly: if you want these things in life, you need to make it happen. Okay Jesus, let’s do this. But let’s also discuss why I am the worst person to try to organize this sort of thing. 1. I’m unorganized. 2. I don’t have much money. 3. My house is too small. 4. What if no one likes my cooking? 5. What if no one really wants to be my friend and they don’t come? Cue all kinds of panic…

Thankfully, I wasn’t the only person in our impact group who thought this was a great idea, and a few of us ladies took to planning. Someone volunteered their home as the hosting spot. One family brought meatballs, another brought pasta, another brought salad, etc. It was definitely a potluck type of affair, with a few husbands coming over straight from work and grabbing a plate of food and joining us at a long table on the patio.

The only picture from our first dinner: Stephanie, Shawna, baby G, and Cassie

I wish now that I’d gotten a lot of photos from that first dinner. The kids sitting at their little tables slurping pasta, then running and laughing through the yard. The adults gathered around a long table, talking and laughing in the soft glow of the lights. Watching the conversation shift from slightly awkward small talk to deeper things. Watching my friend Stephanie share the deep things God was doing in her life, and reading to us the bible verses that were laid on her heart. I could have cried, but I was still too concerned with appearances that first night. 🙂 I wanted to dance around and shriek a little. Something alive and vibrant and amazing started to grow that night. We knew, we knew that God was going to do some amazing things.

“For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.” Hebrews 4:12

Sometimes this American Christian life can seem so one dimensional. To see God’s plan come alive in such a way was so wonderful. And so…we planned another dinner. And another. There began to be more spontaneous get togethers. Coffee dates, lunches, play dates, ladies nights, etc. Our little village. How I love them so.

One nice thing about kids from many families dining together: they are inspired to try new foods!

Our Christmas soup dinner

These boys…oh my heart!

Ladies night

Oh yeah, we know how to have a good time! 🙂 Jeff and Mary…I adore you both

These precious ones

Sometimes you need a BBQ in the middle of winter! This dinner was a BBQ chicken, potato salad, fruit and cookies night. Awesome!

Who cares how big or small your house is? Being cozy is fun 🙂

So the kids *might* play more than they eat. That’s what gummy vitamins are for, right? 😉

Everyone eats when they want some dessert though

This could be the “happily ever after” ending to this little story, right? God answered our prayers for close friends and an amazing church family. But no. Our pastor has recently done a sermon series entitled “Dream Seeding” that jolted this little dream into the possibility of something more. I could (and might!) write an entire blog post on how deeply this sermon series challenged me and moved me. To think about what God sized dreams I have and how willing I am to trust God and be brave enough to step out of the boat no matter how scary deep that water looks.

So. Let me tell you guys…as I sat in church one Sunday listening to this sermon (you can hear it here by the way), a vision exploded in my mind. Of a simple home with plenty of yard space that was filled with long wooden tables. And I mean long tables, with many chairs filled with many people and many children running around. And a garden nearby. And music and worship and new friends. That is my dream…because you see, as much as I adore my little village I know how many lonely people are out there that need this community too. I want to be able to invite them to join us. I want the neighbors to come on over too. I want people to experience all of this and want to know the Jesus that brings people together in such a way.

I have no idea how this will all happen. Maybe it won’t really happen for a few years, maybe it’ll happen next month. I have no idea how to make that much food nor how to even acquire enough tables and seating for such a dream. But that’s good to know because it means its a God sized dream, not a Tara sized dream. 🙂

We recently packed our biggest crowd into my friend Cassie’s house. There were tables in every nook and cranny with about 30 people. It was amazing. I want to see that doubled, tripled, quadrupled. I want the Lord to open up the chance for Nick and I to buy a home on a decent sized piece of land…something we always wanted but could never answer the question of WHY. Did we want horses or something? I don’t know. I just have a burning desire for some land. I’ve felt this way for years, now I think I know why! 🙂

Please pray with me that this dream will come true.

Sometimes I get so excited over where we are now, and how much things have improved, that I forget about the very low place we were in just a few short years ago. I am so grateful to be at a church that values community so much that they work tirelessly at putting together impact groups and other community events. I want them to know how far and wide those efforts have gone, and will continue to go.

If you live in San Antonio, I hope you’ll check out Grace Community Church. Join an impact group. Do you already go to church but feel like an impact group is just too much to add to an already busy schedule? Let me just tell you that I understand completely. I have 3 kids, including twin toddlers, I homeschool, and my domestic duties can fill up a 28 hour day. I can say with 100% certainty that being in an impact group is worth it. Keep going, don’t feel bad if you miss a week. Just go. Then go again next semester. 🙂

If you do a bible study group already, and like it, but find yourself longing for that something more…let me encourage you to be brave and put together your own “just because” potluck dinner. Chances are, people might look at you strangely and wonder if there’s an occasion they’re missing. They might check their schedules and see that they are booked solid for the next 5 weeks and it’ll take work getting a date set that most people can attend. That’s okay, pick a date and just do it. Don’t worry too much if its a little awkward at first.

Its pretty easy to have everyone bring a pot of soup and some bread. Break that bread together; its even more delicious when you’re eating it with friends.

Matzo ball soup made by the amazing Cassie

I’ve talked to so many friends about this over the last few months. People that see our Facebook postings and confess how much they want something like this. Do it guys, its worth it. I’ll leave you with these last thoughts from the original pasta night article:

“In the past nine months, friends who’ve been inspired by Friday Night Meatballs have told me about slow cookers full of meatballs in hotel rooms at conferences. There’s a Taco Tuesday in Minneapolis and a Brisket Brunch in Austin. Many others have shared their favorite low-stress ways to bring people together: game nights, “bring a weird snack” night, bad movie night, Sunday brunch club, even a backyard fried-chicken competition. It doesn’t matter what dish you serve or what idea brings you together: the point is simply to break bread.”

If you want more advice or encouragement in this, please contact me anytime. I’d also love to pray for you if you’re on the same journey of searching for a community of friends.

And thank you, thank you, thank you Grace Community Church for bringing us together. We love you so much.

Matthew 18:20 For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”

Acts 2:42 And they devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers.